Bandari's Blog

# At the ground: ----------------- All of you stand in a straight circle. There is no wind in the balloon. The girl with the mirror please comes her...{Means : girl with specs please come here). # To a boy, angrily: --------------------- I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk? # While punishing students: ----------------------- You, rotate the ground four times... You, go and understand the tree... You three of you stand together separately. Why are you late - say YES or NO .....(?) # Sir at his best: --------------- Sir had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance, he happened to see one of our boys at the theatre, though the boy did not see them. So the next day at s school... (to that boy) - "Yesterday I saw you WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre" # Sir at his best inside the Class room: ---------------------------------------------- Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in. Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in. Cut an apple into...

class Indian_Bachelor_female_professional { double styles; short skirts; long time_to_understand_problems; float mind; void knowledge(); char non_co_operative; }; class Married_female_Software_Professional { double weight; short tempered; long gossips; float hopes; void work(); char unstable; }; class Female_Engaged_software_professional { double time_on_phone; short attention_on_work; long boast; float on_cloud_nine; void understanding(); char edgy; }; class Indian_Newly_Married_software_professional { double dinner_invitations; short time_at_work; long lunch_breaks; float talks; void bank_balance(); char hen_pecked; }; class Indian_husband_wife_software_professional { double income; short temper; long time_no_see; float new_software_company; void lov }; Class Guy_who_wrote_this { Long ti...

Interviewer: Why is a thicker conductor necessary to carry a current in A.C.as compared to D.C. ? Candidate: An AC current goes up and down (drawing a sinusoid) and requires more space inside the wire, so the wire has to be thicker. External (to student) : "Why does a capacitor block DC but allow AC To pass through ? Student: See, a capacitor is like this ---| |--- , OK. DC comes straight, like this ----------, and the capacitor stops it. But AC,goes UP, DOWN, UP DOWN and jumps right over the capacitor!" .-------------------good one :) Interviewer: How will you tell if that wall outlet carries AC or DC? Candidate: I will put my finger in. If it is pushed away, it is AC. If it gets stuck, it was DC. Interviewer: H! ow will you reverse direction of an Induction motor? Candidate: I will remove the four bolts at the x-ud, turn the motor around, and put back the bolts. Interviewer: How do you start a synchronous motor? Candidate: Vrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (in rising pitch) Inter...

CREATE PROCEDURE MyMarriage @ BrideGroom Char(NotBad), @ Bride Char(Good) AS SELECT Bride FROM Andhra Brides WHERE FatherInLaw = 'Millionaire' AND CarCount > 2 AND HouseStatus ='TwoStoreyed' AND BrideEduStatus='PGorAbove' HavingBrothers='NO' AND HavingSisters ='No' AND AllowRelocate ='YES' AND KnowCooking ='TRUE' SELECT Gold ,Cash,Car,BankBalance FROM FatherInLaw UPDATE MyBankAccout SET MyBal = MyBal + FatherinLawBal UPDATE MyLocker SET MyLockerContents = MyLockerContents + FatherinLawGold INSERT INTO MyCarShed VALUES ('Ford')

FACTS TO MAKE EVERY INDIAN PROUD Q. Who is the co-founder of Sun Microsystems? A. Vinod Khosla Q. Who is the creator of Pentium chip (needs no introduction as 90% of the today's computers run on it)? A. Vinod Dahm Q. Who are the founder and creator of Hotmail (Hotmail is world's No.1 web based email program)? A. Sabeer Bhatia Q. Who is the president of AT & T-Bell Labs (AT & T-Bell Labs is the creator of program languages such as C, C++, Unix to name a few)? A. Arun Netravalli Q. Who is the GM of Hewlett Packard? A. Rajiv Gupta Q. Who is the new MTD (Microsoft Testing Director) of Windows 2000, responsible to iron out all initial problems? A. Sanjay Tejwrika Q. Who are the Chief Executives of CitiBank, Mckensey & Stanchart? A. Victor Menezes, Rajat Gupta, and Rana Talwar. ***************************************************************** We Indians are the wealthiest among all ethnic groups in America , even faring better than the whites and the natives. There are ...

A software engineer was smoking in office. Girl says, Can’t you see the warning? "Smoking is injurious to health" to this the engineer says........... Any guesses !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Common try…!!! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . We bother only about Errors not Warnings!!!!

TO BE A MILLIONAIRE A jobless man applied for the position of "office boy" at Microsoft. The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test. "You are employed." He said." Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start." The man replied "But I don't have a computer, neither an email." I'm sorry", said the HR manager, "If you don't have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job." The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate. He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the Operation three times, and returned home with $60. The man realized that he can survive by this Way, and started to g...

Just for fun guys.......... Telangana wedding invitation Maa anna Chi: Ellaiah , Chi: Sow: Ellamma ni pendli cheskuntundu, mari meerantha pendlam pillalagandla thoni, lekapothe Girl Friendla thoni, yaad marvakunda raavale Eppudundi ante shanivaram poddugala Dec 24 na 11:41 ki (on Saturday the 24th December 2005 at 11:41 a.m.) ekkadnanante mana Ashoka Gardens leda, Bowenpally Secunderabadla, adhe bhai Petrol pumpu pakkaku, aadane, marshipovadu soodu mari. Pendlikangane masthuga thini povale

Roles in Heaven : Brahma Systems Installation Vishnu Systems Administration & Support Lakshmi Finance and Accounts consultant Saraswati Training and Knowledge Management Shiva DBA (Crash Specialist) Ganesh Quality Assuarance & Documentation Narada Data transfer Yama Reorganization & Downsizing Consultant Chitragupta IDP & Personal Records Apsaras Downloadable Viruses Devas Mainframe Programmers Surya Solaris Administrator Rakshasas In house Hackers Ravan Internet Explorer WWWF Kumbhakarnan Zombie Process Lakshman Support Software and Backup Hanuman Linux/s390 Vaali MS Windows Sugreeva DOS Jatayu Firewall Dronacharya System Programmer Vishwamitra Sr. Manager Projects Shakuni Annual appraisal & Promotion Valmiki Technical Writer (Ramayana Sign off document) Krishna SDLC ( Sudarshan Wheel Development Life Cycle ) Dharmaraj Yudhishthira ISO Consultant (CMM level 5) Arjun Lead Programmer (all companies are vying for h...

THE SEVEN DANGEROUS DON'T ACT THE 7 ACTIONS BELOW AFTER YOU HAVE A MEAL * Don't smoke- Experiment from experts proves that smoking a cigarette after meal is comparable to smoking 10 cigarettes (chances of cancer is higher). * Don't eat fruits immediately - Immediately eating fruits after meals will cause stomach to be bloated with air. Therefore take fruit 1-2 hr after meal or 1hr before meal. * Don't drink tea - Because tea leaves contain a high content of acid. This substance will cause the Protein content in the food we consume to be hardened thus difficult to digest. * Don't loosen your belt - Loosening the belt after a meal will easily cause the intestine to be twisted & blocked. * Don't bathe - Bathing will...

May I know the time please?! Young Man: Sir, may I know the time, please? Old Man: Certainly not. Young Man: Sir, but why? What are you going to loose,if you tell me the time? Old Man: Yes, I may loose something if I tell you the time. Young Man: But Sir, can you tell me how? Old Man : See, if I tell you the time you will definitely thank me and may be tomorrow again you will ask me the time. Young Man: Quite possible. Old Man: May be we meet two three times more and you will ask my name and address. Young Man: Quite possible. Old Man: One day you may come to my house saying you were just passing by and came into wish me. Then as a courtsey, I will offer you a cup of tea. After my courteous approach you will try to come again.This time you will appreciate tea and ask who has made it.? Young Man: Possible Old Man: made itThen I will tell you that my daughter has and I will then have to introduce my young and pretty daughter to you &; you will admire my daughter. Young Man: Smiles. ;...

Pokiri Software Tester

Bill Gates announced that Microsoft plans to release a windows version in Telangana Language. Here are some Windows related terms that are proposed to be used in the telangana version of kitkeel renduvelu (Windows2000): keywords search = devulaadu Save = bachainchu Save as = gitla bachainchu Save All = anni bachainch Help = Nannu bachainch Find = ethku Find Again = malla ethku Move = sarkainch Zoom = peddagachei Zoom Out = shinnagachei Open = tervay Close = mooi New = kothadi Old = pathadi Replace = marcheyi Insert = Nadimitla vettu space = jaaga Backspace = enka jaaga Run = vurku Print = acchu Print Preview = choosi accheyi Copy = gatlantidee Cut = koi Paste = atki Delete = teesipadey View = soodu Tools = mutlu Toolbar = mutla gottam Exit = igavori Compress = gunju mouse = elka click = vothu Double Click = malla malla vothu Forward = idkelli aadki Scrollbar = thippudu gottam Double Click with the left mouse button= elka chevvu voka mali eddam dikku malla malla vothale This pro...

Here is a letter written by a HR executive to his love ( Just for Fun ) :-) Dearest Ms Juliet, I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since the 14th of October (Sunday). With reference to the meeting held between us on the 27th of July. at 1500 hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover. Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account. I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancel...

ITS VERY GOOD ,EVERY 1 MUST WATCH IT .........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 ANIMATOR Vs ANIMATOR II View The Animation

Here are 50 ways to increase your productivity and add hours to your day. 1. Take a break. You can’t always be working at optimum productivity. Instead, you should shoot for working in short bursts at your most productive times. 2. Set a timer for each of your tasks. Read Full article

Not only our technical knowledge helps, but also the presence of Mind and the right answer at right time.Even if u don't know the answer for a question just confuse the questioner Question and the Answer given by Candidates oh sorry they are IAS Officers now. Q.How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it? A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper) Q.If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it? A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23 Rank Opted for IFS) Q.If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have? A. Very large hands.(Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS) Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand? A. It is not a problem, since you will never find! An elephant with one hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES) Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep? A. No Probs , He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank 9...

A School Master from a remote rural area in Bihar was transferred to a new School in Mumbai. He reported for duty two days after actual date of joining.Consequently He was asked for explanation in writing . . . Here he goes.... Deer sur, "This is my first vijit to Bombai. If small small mistakes get inside my letter, I ask pardon. Stickly speaking, I wanted to joint your school more fastly, but for the following reajon, too much time lost in getting slipper reservation in three-tyre compartment. The clerk rejected to give ticket to I and my sun. I put complaint on station master. He said I to go to lady clerk. At first she also rejected. I then pressed her for long time and at last with great difficulty she gave a birth only to my sun. Anyway I thanked the station master because he was responsible for getting birth of my sun. I hope u will see my whole story and late me first time I am now ending this fastly. May God blast you!" Thank you...........

Telangana jony jony rhyme... jonyga o jonyga em naina chekkara bukkinava raa bukkaledu ayya abbaddalu adthunavara lambdikodaka ledu naina muthi theravara mundakodaka

Comparing Programming Languages in real life There are so many programming languages available that it can be very difficult to get to know them all well enough to pick the right one for you. On the other hand most men know what kind of woman appeals to them. So here is a handy guide for many of the popular programming languages that describes what kind of women they would be if programming languages were women. Assembler - A female track star who holds all the world speed records. She is hard and bumpy, and so is not that pleasant to embrace. She can cook up any meal, but needs a complete and detailed recipe. She is not beautiful or educated, and speaks in monosyllables like "MOV, JUMP, INC". She has a fierce and violent temper that make her the choice of last resort. FORTRAN - Your grey-haired grandmother. People make fun of her just because she is old, but if you take the time to listen, you can learn from her experiences and ...

40 FACTS ABOUT SLEEP YOU PROBABLY DIDN’T KNOW... (OR WERE TOO TIRED TO THINK ABOUT) - The record for the longest period without sleep is 18 days, 21 hours, 40 minutes during a rocking chair marathon. The record holder reported hallucinations, paranoia, blurred vision, slurred speech and memory and concentration lapses. - It's impossible to tell if someone is really awake without close medical supervision. People can take cat naps with their eyes open without even being aware of it. - Anything less than five minutes to fall asleep at night means you're sleep deprived. The ideal is between 10 and 15 minutes, meaning you're still tired enough to sleep deeply, but not so exhausted you feel sleepy by day. - A new baby typically results in 400-750 hours lost sleep for parents in the first year - One of the best predictors of insomnia later in life is the development of bad habits from having sleep disturbed by young children. - The continuous brain recordings th...